Venting.

Well, I am sure that everyone has thoughts and feelings about the recent tragedy in Colorado. I am sure everyone has been saddened and has strong feelings about it. I do as well and I just need a place to express them. So, my blog is the place.

I almost don't have the words to express my horror. I was up early feeding Harlow when I heard the news that there was a shooting in a movie theater and 12 people had died with dozens more injured. Tears instantly came. I felt as if I was in there. I felt as if someone I loved was in there. I felt like I knew those people. And unfortunately, I mostly felt anger and fear. I cannot really get over those 2 things yet. The evil in this world is quickly becoming more than I feel I can handle. Don't get me wrong, I realize that I live a blessed life and there is a lot of good and joy in the world. But, the evil in the world seems to be showing its ugly head a lot more than I can bare.

There is always terrible things on the news, and this was just the last straw. I now feel this terrible feeling in myself that something bad is going to happen and I'm just walking around waiting for it, trying to avoid it. I feel like I need to always be looking over my shoulder. I hate this. That is so not me. I am an optimist. The innocent people who were hurt in this awful incident were normal people like me. They were going to a MOVIE for heavens sake. I can't get it out of my head. What normal thing will I be doing when something unthinkable happens?

Luckily, deep down in my heart I do know that people are good. I know that there is so much good in the world and that I can cling to those things. I know that I can fight these feelings by trying to be a force for good in the world. But for now, it's all very fresh and for some reason, it has upset me so much.

Lastly, my knowledge that we have a Heavenly Father with a plan is the one thing that gives me peace. He does not make mistakes. I know that Jesus Christ has felt every single pain of those people who have suffered and every sorrow of those mourning.

Just typing all of this out helps. I have had a million thoughts flying around in my head. "Why do I care so much" being the main one. It feels good to sort it all out for a minute. But as I type this out I realize that I need to learn a lesson from this. Life cannot be taken for granted. We must be a positive influence on the world while we can.

What was I gonna' say?

Hello! I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th of July. We sure did. We walked the Butte to Butte this year and had a great time with a picnic afterwards and a firework show from Michael at night. We are finally getting some sunshine around here and it feels wonderful. We're taking Harlow out on a picnic today so she can actually learn what the sun feels and looks like! All throughout the week, I think about things that I want to blog about and then I sit down to type... and it's all gone. I forget! Darn it, well- until I remember, here is some pictures of our recent happenings. 

  

 Harlow is rolling over now. SO CUTE! She is super into her toes and her hands and she is working reallll hard on getting her binky in her mouth all by herself. I never get sick of watching her learn and play every single day.